Thursday, May 10, 2007

Chapter Three

That night, the last night they were to stay in Goa, Shiva had a dream. He saw her in his dream. The same girl…

Because of Vinod and Ramya’s repeated insistence, he had enquired about her with his friends. Her name was Shweta Rao. She was from Mumbai. She had come to Chennai when she was studying 10th grade. An extremely quiet girl and very intelligent too! He learnt she was doing B.Sc. (Micro Biology) in his college. Those were just information to him. They meant nothing.

When he woke up in the morning, he still remembered the dream. And he spent almost the whole of next day trying to question himself why he is thinking of her. He couldn’t find an answer. It was as though his mind had a built an invisible wall, preventing him from accessing it when he thought of this girl. He was very irritated because of that. He loved clarity. Clarity of mind and thought. Everything had a reason. And to tell that something happened without a reason just indicated fear to look beyond. Or the negligence to look beyond. To probe further. His principle was, if he stopped questioning his thoughts, or his motives, he would stop growing. The very essence of growth is to question the governing dynamics. For every thought he wanted to know the cause. In this case, he was unable to do that.

The journey back was uneventful. He was confused. The feeling of inability to understand his thoughts, made him feel uneasy.

Back home and being in the confines of his den, his room, made him feel nice. He loved perfection. He would grab a book from his room with his eyes shut. Everything was in place. And he expected others around him to also be the same! And that made him look like a moron. And it made him appear repulsive. But whoever stayed away from him missed someone very cute. A friend who should be around. Someone to idolize.

He called Ramya to tell about his Goa experience. She was excited to know about it. And then before hanging up, he told her about the thoughts of Shweta that disturbed him. She thought about it hard and advised him to have a chat with Shweta. Just like that. Nothing in particular. Just talk with her so that he could relax a bit. Even if not him, his mind would relax a bit.

He thought about it. He was not sure if he had to go and talk to someone just because his mind is playing tricks. He has never done that before in his life.

Life keeps throwing different challenges. He cannot approach them the same way he does it all the time. He had to change. He decided to talk to her in the near future. He wanted to put an end those thoughts.

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